Taming the "Must-Have" Monster

Taming the “Must-Have” Monster:
Helping Kids Appreciate Off-the-Beaten-Path Toys in a Marketing-Driven Culture


Any parent who has handled a temper tantrum in a toy store knows the feeling of wanting to fade into the wallpaper until their child’s episode of the “gimmes” is a distant memory. The insistent desire for a particular toy—usually one that is heavily advertised or the “must have” item of the moment—often launches the seemingly inevitable episodes of “But I WAAAAAANT it!” in today’s childhoods. Is there an antidote?

It should not be surprising that kids get focused on popular products, says Jacquie Lambertson owner of Noodles & Noggins, an independent toy store in Clifton, VA. “It’s a natural thing for kids to want things they see other children playing with, especially starting around age four or five when they are becoming very aware of other children and want to be liked by them. If a little friend has a toy that looks cool or fun, it makes sense to a child that she should have the toy too,” notes Lambertson.

There’s another reason bad cases of the gimmes should not surprise parents. Children are subject to thousands of advertising messages every year—an average of 40,000 are viewed per child on television alone, according to Professor Dale Kunkel of the University of California at Santa Barbara—and they are subject to many additional marketing pitches through product placements, the Internet, billboards, print ads, and much more. The result? American kids aged 4 to 12 now spend over $30 billion a year, says Professor Juliet Schor of Boston College, and they influence over $500 billion of spending overall.

It’s no wonder that some toys become must-haves for the consumer child. But there are things that parents can do to tame the gimme monster when it comes to toys, says Susan J. Oliver, Executive Director of Playing for Keeps, a national not-for-profit organization that promotes healthy, constructive play.

“We all know from watching our kids play happily for hours with cardboard boxes and pots and pans that toys are not central to play,” says Oliver. “But toys can make play lots of fun, and they can be a big contributor to developing an active imagination, building reading, math, and science skills, and much more. If parents are faced with the gimmes, one strategy can be to redirect the child’s interest from the popular, heavily promoted toys, which are often based on licensed properties and use lots of electronics, to simple but intriguing toys that leave more room for the child to direct the play.”

Oliver suggests a few simple steps that parents might use to encourage interest in off-the-beaten-path toys:

• Turn off the TV. If your child wants only the latest, coolest products because she sees them over and over again on television, the simple solution is to limit television time—especially during the hours and shows that those toys are likely to be advertised. Yes, it will take some effort, but so does dealing with the gimmes in a crowded discount store, and turning off the TV is much less public and embarrassing. Expect your kids to go outdoors and play instead, or read a book, or do a craft project.

• Help your child understand the value of non-commercial items. Share the story of special items in your home that have meaning thanks to the person who gave it to you or the way it is made or how long you have owned it. While they may not react immediately, build a family culture that shows your kids that it’s not all about having the latest new thing, but about having things that are meaningful and that will last. Encourage them to think about toys they might want to keep for a long time even if the toy goes out of style.

• Check out toy stores that are not part of large chains or discounters. Many creative and fun toys do not get sold at large discount department stores or toy store chains. Instead, they are found in locally owned “specialty” toy stores such as Noodles & Noggins in Clifton, VA. “We pride ourselves on carrying products you cannot get in other places,” says Lambertson. “We don’t tend to carry the latest thing you see on TV, but we look for toys that are unique and promote healthy, creative play.”

It’s the parent’s job, suggests Oliver of Playing for Keeps, to set limits and respond firmly when kids get into that gotta-have-it mode we’ve all experienced with our children. “Of course it’s not always easy to enforce ‘no’,” she says, “but there are plenty of ways to handle it that have the added benefit of promoting your child’s individuality.

“Look at it this way,” continues Oliver. “If it’s the latest, hottest thing, chances are the pitch is all about the features of the toy. But what does that do for your child? If you shift the equation to a focus on the features of the play the toy can provide, you are demonstrating that your child’s development and healthy values are the priority. Not only is that better for your child today, but in a few short years when he’s suddenly a teenager coping with the more grownup must-have culture, you’ll be glad you taught that lesson early and often.”

Just Like Any Other Kid: Selecting Toys for Children with Disabilities

There are a few things we know for sure about kids. Every child is unique. Each grows and learns in his or her own special way. And pretty much all children love to play.

Kids with disabilities are no different, of course. “Whether a child’s disability is mild or severe, obvious or not, that child is first and foremost a kid,” says Diana Nielander, Executive Director of the National Lekotek Center, a non-profit organization that provides toy libraries and other play-related services for children with disabilities. “That means she will have the natural instinct to explore the world through play, just like any other kid.”

When it comes to birthdays and holidays and other special times, however, children with disabilities all too often find clothing or other “safe” gifts waiting for them, notes Nielander. “Many times, grandparents, other relatives, and friends want to do something special for the child, but they just aren’t sure what types of toys will be fun and usable,” says Nielander. “They don’t want to take a chance on disappointing her with something that doesn’t fit her abilities—something that ends up being more frustrating for the child than fun.”

If you have a child with disabilities in your life for whom you would like to find just the right toy, several resources are available to help you.

For general guidelines on what to consider when selecting toys for differently-abled children, take a look at Lekotek’s Top Ten Tips for Choosing Toys, which you can find on their website at http://www.lekotek.org/resources/informationontoys/tentips.html. While you’re there, check out the many other resources on play for children with disabilities, including downloadable information packets on many play topics.

A sensible first stop for specific toy suggestions is the Good to Grow website at www.goodtogrowtoys.com. This resource is sponsored by locally-owned toy stores around the country and it offers a useful tool for quickly researching toys according to information the user enters about the type of disability, age of the child , the kind of skills the toy helps a child develop, and the price range within which you wish to stay. The toys included in the database have been evaluated by occupational therapists who provide written reports on their experience with the toy, covering questions such as:

• How does the toy fit with various disabilities?
• Can the toy be used in a variety of positions, such as side-lying or in a wheelchair? How much space does the toy require? How can it be stored?
• How long does this toy engage the child? Is the toy appealing over time as the child ages and develops?
• Will the toy provide a challenge without frustration?
• Are the different ways to play with the toy so it can fit with the child’s abilities?
• How do kids seem to like it.? Is there a WOW factor that attracts children to this toy?

If the child has asked for a particular toy, or if you already have an idea about a toy you’d like to get him, check out the Good to Grow website to see if that item has been reviewed. The evaluation can help you decide if the toy is the right choice.

Another easy way to get personalized information is to visit the locally-owned toy store in your area. (Visit www.astratoy.org to find one or stop by Noodles & Noggins here in Clifton, VA.) These stores are generally very different from national chain toy stores and toy sections in discount department stores because they provide significantly more personalized service along with a selection of products not usually found in big chains. You can expect to find staff who are knowledgeable about a wide range of toys, how to use them in different and sometimes unique ways, and how to match up children with the toys that best suit their interests and developmental levels. “Small, local toy stores are a great resource if you are buying for a child with disabilities” says Nielander of Lekotek. “It’s instantly easier when someone who knows toys and kids is right there to help you.”

If you need further or more detailed help, pick up the phone and call the Lekotek Toy Resource Helpline at 1-800-366-PLAY and arrange to speak with one of Lekotek’s experts on toys and play for kids with disabilities. You can also email lekotek@lekotek.org with your questions for a personalized response.

“Years ago, the paradigm was to expect children to adapt to his or her environment,” notes Jacquie Lambertson of Noodles & Noggins, a toy store here in Clifton, VA. “When it came to play, this meant that a kid with disabilities had to make do with whatever toys were around, whether they worked for that child or not. Fortunately, we now know a lot more about how to find the fit between what the child can do and what toys will help her have fun doing it—just like any other kid.”

And that is good news for kids of all abilities and the people in their lives who would like to ensure the magic of play is included in their childhood, says Susan J. Oliver, Executive Director of Playing for Keeps, a national not-for-profit dedicated to promoting healthy, constructive play for all children.

“Play is about learning and skill building. Play is about fun. This is universal, regardless of your abilities, your family income, the color of your eyes, or anything else,” points out Oliver. “Play is part of being a kid. With all the resources available today on selecting appropriate toys, figuring out what play materials will work for any given child is much easier that it used to be. In today’s world, pretty much every child should be getting in on the fun.”

Welcome!

We've been asked so many times to post information about toys, learning through play, and other related topics. So, a blog was born! Here you will find articles about toys, important updates, and other miscellaneous information!

Enjoy!!